Some Thoughts on my Sixty-Ninth Birthday

Have you ever gone on a God Hunt? A God Hunt begins when you teach yourself to look for God’s hand at work in the every day occurrences of your life. Here’s one of my personal God Hunt Sightings:


Turning 69 today, with a husband who is 75, has forced an unending round of discussions on the aging process. We are determined to traverse these years left to us as well as possible.

I do not want to bore people with a litany of aches and ills. I do not want to hear myself saying (as so many of my aged friends say), “It’s no fun growing old.”

David and I want to age with grace, laughing through the years that come, accepting the physical and mental disabilities as a gift to keep our human demise before our eyes in a way that is anticipatory, not morbid.

So when I self-diagnosed the numbness and pain in my feet that activates whenever I wear the wrong shoes as Morton’s neuroma, I acquiesced to the fact that aging inevitably brings its own physical limitations. “It is what it is,” I remind myself.

A day getting the house ready and cooking for guests causes me to hobble around like I have a couple of marbles taped to the pad of my foot beneath my second and third toes—on both feet. High heels, obviously, are out.

“Aren’t you ever going to wear heels again?” asked David. No, I explained, I would not be wearing heels probably ever again. “Just pray that I don’t end up wearing a pair of orthopedic shoes.”

Obviously, I am responsible for the care of my feet. So, I make sure that any shoe I wear is ultra-comfortable, and doesn’t—in any way—pinch my toes. I buy padded lifts and slip them into shoes and I never, never walk far unless I am wearing a good pair of walking shoes that absorbs the impact of flesh on pavement. I have learned to be careful when trekking over uneven terrain.

This summer, on a 50th Wedding Anniversary trip to Italy, observing all the above precautions, we walked miles every day without the Morton’s neuroma acting up, crippling me and forcing me to spend a day in a hotel room off-itinerary. Maybe the ugly orthopedic shoes aren’t such a sure thing after all.

The other morning, however, during a prayer time, I had a totally unexpected thought. Why didn’t I use the stepping-on-marbles like pain as a reminder of the wounds of Christ? Why, when I was forced to take off a shoe because of aching feet, didn’t I intentionally remember that nails were pounded through His feet as He was impaled to the Cross. Certainly, as He pressed down against them in order to force His torso upward so His cramped lungs could suck in air, the nail-holes tore and worried the flesh and ligaments. Why didn’t I transform this minor discomfort on my own aging process into an intercessory remembrance of how Christ suffered and of how others suffer in the world?

So I have been attempting to do this work. Unlike St. Francis and other remarkable saints, I have never prayed for the stigmata, actual wounds in the flesh that come from intense and close identification with His death and suffering, but I can do this. I can look at this sometime discomfort as a gift.

Perhaps I have discovered a path forward to deal better with the inevitable signs of old age that will bring me joy in the process of physical decline.



God is in all things, even these thoughts on my 69th birthday.

I spy God!

Life in Christ

Have you ever gone on a God Hunt? A God Hunt begins when you teach yourself to look for God’s hand at work in the every day occurrences of your life. Here’s one of my personal God Hunt Sightings:



I have been reading John Stott’s beautiful book Life in Christ, which includes replications of many of the grand master’s paintings of Jesus. Stott, who died a few months ago, was a great theologian and an exemplary Christian leader. This book is an ongoing exposition of all the Scriptures that have to do with the topic of “life in Christ.” One quote, which I read New Year’s Eve day, struck me. It was written by J. C. Ryle, the Bishop of Liverpool from 1850-1900. Life in Christ consists of Christ saying to us, “Abide in me. Cling to me. Stick fast to me. Live the life of close and intimate communion with me. Get nearer and nearer to me. Roll every burden on me. Cast your whole weight on me. Never let go your hold on me for a moment.”

The next morning, early, I checked my e-mail to find a note from a good friend. We had been having an ongoing conversation about my not pursuing my creative writing at this stage in my life. He chided me on allowing the not-so-important to divert me from what was most important. I disagreed with him about what was important and what was not important. It was, if not a heated exchange, a warm one.

So I shot him an e-mail showing him what I was doing regarding what I felt was important and he felt was not-so-important and assured him I was writing quite a bit (although just not for publication).

My first e-mail early on New Year’s Day was from this friend. And the dialogue continued with him asking the often-discussed question of how multi-gifted folk decide exactly where they devote their energies. “I guess the only way to know is to live a life that grows increasingly closer and closer to Christ.”

These two “nudges” reminded me of the set of cassettes that is stored in my book shelf that holds lectures dedicated to the topic of spiritual growth. They are recordings of the teachings of an Indian Christian spiritual leader, Brother Zac Poonen, and are profound in their emphasis that we must live a life in Christ.

Three nudges is more than enough. Obviously, this is to be the theme of my spiritual journey for this New Year. Since we no longer have a cassette player in the car, I will have to be intentional about listening to these 15 cassette teachings. The only place we have a cassette player is the small study at home where I often read the Scripture, pray and write in my journal. I have dubbed this place “the listening room.”

I just pulled down the Zac Poonen cassettes, and after I send these blogs off to my editor, I will carry these tapes down to the listening room, where I suspect I will be spending much time this year. I have much to learn about a life in Christ.

I spy God!

Kingdom Tales

David & Karen Mains' Kingdom Tales consist of three volumes - Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration.

Each volume consists of twelve fantasy short stories, set in a city ruled by an evil Enchanter who has usurped the throne from the true King. The stories are all separate events often involving different characters, but are bound together as part of a larger story as the Enchanted City is rescued by the exiled King and becomes the Bright City, leading to a joyous conclusion as the people of Great Park and Bright City begin the Great Celebration at the conclusion of the Restoration.

The stories in the Kingdom Tales are heartwarming allegories of good and evil that draw the readers into the Kingdom through the open doors of whimsy and invention.

Face of Christ

Friends and Strangers written by Karen Mains contain true stories that make up milestones in the author's journey from isolation to community -- from haunting estrangement to a deeper, more vital connection with others. Karen Mains has discovered, that we grow into our real selves. And it is often those we meet in life's lonely places that show us the face of Christ.

Torschlusspanik: Gate-closing Panic

“It’s not so much a fear of diminishing opportunities that haunts me, as the fear of not finishing well. Of course, none of us knows the date or hour of our own demise, but I can’t think of anything more satisfactory than to rest my head, take a deep breath, and sigh, It is finished. How wonderful that would be.“

Read here as Karen Mains ponders on her torschlusspanik.

Note: torschlusspanik is a German word which means "the fear that time is running out."

Winner of the 1982 Christopher Award

The Fragile Curtain was written after author Karen Mains trips through barrios and refugee camps in Central America, Southeast Asia, the Middle East and Africa in the late '70s to early '80s. In this deeply moving book, Karen Mains recounts her very personal journey through the crowded refugee camps of the world. She went to write about the pain and suffering of these people. Instead they showed her the meaning of her own life. The sacredness of family. The miracle of love. The hope of birth and death.

The Fragile Curtain went on to win the Christopher Award in 1982, an award that salutes media that "affirms the highest values of the human spirit."

Friends and Strangers by Karen Mains

Friends and Strangers is a collection of essays Karen Mains wrote when she first began to recognize the divine interplay that often occurred when meeting strangers. Some of the chapter titles include “The Loneliest Man I Ever Met,” “Guess Who Came to St. Patrick’s Day Dinner?”, “Writer Without Words,” and “A Comfortably Rumpled Advocate.”

Close Encounters of the Casual Kind

by Karen Mains

For my birthday last week, David and I used our Metro Regional Transportation Authority “Seniors Ride Free” passes to go into Chicago. Rumor has it that the state legislature is going to cancel this program since Illinois is facing one of the worst budget deficits among the 50 states so we are trying to employ these passes as much as possible before the hatchet falls.

Last spring, because of the fact that Riccardo Mutti was named the new artistic director of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, my husband purchased a series of tickets, which are serving as our anniversary, Christmas, birthday, and Valentine’s Day gifts. We arrived at Ogilvie Station on January 19, where a bitter biting wind forced us to catch a taxi. Consequently, we had an hour to spend in the Art Institute (where the Chagall stained-glass windows have been cleaned and reinstalled) before our dinner reservation. At 6 p.m. we hustled across Michigan Avenue to have dinner at the Russian Tea Time Restaurant.

How to choose from Ukrainian Borscht, Eggplant/Zucchini Duet, Lamb Samsa or Pumpkin Vareniky? David leaned over to the woman eating alone at the table beside ours and asked, “Do you have anything on the menu you especially enjoy?” That was the beginning of an enchanting table conversation with this woman who had grown up on the South Side of Chicago, spent her career teaching at South Shore High School, resides now in retirement at the family home in Saugatauk, Michigan, but makes regular trips back into the city where she keeps a condo in her old neighborhood. Read full article at Hungry Souls.

Message of Christianity

by Karen Mains

“So we have known and believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them.” 1 John 4:16 NRSV.

This is the message of Christianity that we too often forget. It is not the protestors standing on the fringe of gravesites protesting gay lifestyles. It is not the self-righteous judgments of television evangelists. It is not the angry denunciations of self-appointed “prophets”. It is unaccountable acts of loving sacrifice that make a difference in the world. It is shared homes and meals. It is kind words spoken in harsh environments. It is forgiveness offered to persecutors. It is two people who work, for the sake of the God of love, to make a marriage succeed. It is weariness because of well doing. It is giving of one’s means. It is an overwhelming body of evidence that there are people in society who actually have known and believe the love God has for them, who abide in that love and consequently abide in God and He in them.

I Wish I Could Take Credit For

by Karen Mains

I wish I could take credit for making the decision not to have television in the house.

But the truth is, one of the children dropped the portable television set. We had bought this with the idea that we could put it away in a closet when it was not being used. Well, that never happened.

I set up all sorts of controls—a chart beside the television for the children to record the amount of time they watched television and what they watched; a rule that homework had to be done before television; a limit on viewing. We even had a Saturday-morning-cartoon violence-tracking chart—but none of this worked well. It didn't because television regulation required that I be the television vice squad, something not suited to my style of discipline. Indeed, the greatest viewing offender in our household was I! I am a latent television addict. So when one of the kids dropped the darn thing and it broke, we decided not to replace it and to go cold-turkey TV-withdrawal instead.

And do you know what?—it was one of the best decisions we ever made for the life of our family—not to mention my own intellectual and spiritual development. Read more at Hungry Souls...

The Fragile Curtain by Karen Mains

The Fragile Curtain by Karen Mains won the Christopher Award given for works that exemplify the highest values of humanity.

In this deeply moving book, join Karen on her very personal journey through the crowded refugee warehouses of the world. She went to write about the pain and suffering of these people. Instead they showed her the meaning of her own life. The sacredness of family. The miracle of love. The hope of birth—and death.

Karen dares us all to look at our own lives; to assess the good—and the bad. To celebrate the joy and the blessing of family life. To be thankful that despite sorrow and suffering we dare to begin again.

Listening Groups Start in February 2011

Karen Mains is gathering material to put a book on Listening Groups together and would love to journey from February 2011 through eight months until September with people who wish training as Listening Group leaders. This will keep her mind in the Listening Group mode and in dialogue with people who feel strongly about this spiritual exercise.

Her covenant is to have the first draft of the book written by September 2011.

As usual, the groups will consist of 3-4 members; we will meet once a month at the Mains’ home in West Chicago, IL. The meetings will last 2 1/2 hours, but will include training and hands-on activity with each participant taking turns leading the group. Karen is a small-group specialist, certified by Riva Institute as a focus group moderator.

We will be looking at the neurobiology of well-being cuased by the listening process, at how to ask good questions, at how to guard the architecture of the listening process, at how to create safety in a group, etc.

The fee for this 8-month journey is $125. If you are interested, contact Susan Hands at Mainstay Ministries at info@hungrysouls.org

A Prayer Said During A High School Reunion

Our Heavenly Father, We come to you at this cycle of our lives, our later years.

We remember those, friends and companions, who have been in our midst, but who are now gone. We thank you for the part of their lives that we have shared, however brief or however joyful. Let us remind ourselves, because of them, that each day is a gift, not a promise, to be lived as beautifully as possible within our abilities and our means.

Thank you for the fleeting marvels in each moment, for the solaces of friendship, for the continuing miracle of love coming into our lives, sometimes unexpectedly, sometimes through the touch of a child or the embrace of another human, sometimes in the overwhelming reality that You approve of who we are or of what we do.

Thank you for laughter through the years and for those events, small or large, that bring us delight.

Thank you for mercy in the midst of suffering, for comfort when we are afraid or distressed, for sleep that eases our sorrows.

Thank you that we have danced, that we have celebrated, that we have sung and praised, that we have been privileged to live deeply in a time of amazing advancements.

Thank you that many of us have had meaningful work in our days.

Thank you that some of us have made a difference for good in our world.

We are sorry for the times that we have disappointed You, or abandoned others, or betrayed our own selves. Forgive us, please, and help us to do better.

Bless us this evening, we pray. Give us joy in meeting again. Give us tenderness for those who struggle. Help us to be kind in word and deed. Grant that we may be alive with curiosity. And as we leave one another, perhaps never to meet again, help us to wish one another peace—peace for living and peace for dying.

We pray this in Your name: in the name of the Father, and of His Son, Jesus Christ. May we use the time still left to us, through the help of the Holy Spirit, to be more than we thought possible. Amen.

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This prayer was prepared and said by Karen Mains during her 50th high school reunion.

50th Reunion Revelations

by Karen Mains

My 50th High School Class Reunion was full of all sorts of revelations:

• It helps that I had dropped 12 pounds, let my hair go white and found a new spiky hairdo. Nothing like physical confidence to help you face a crowd!
• Old friends are important. They have often accomplished surprising and amazing enterprises.
• Age, no matter what anyone says, is an huge advantage.
• Old boy friends remember their first loves fondly.
• Incarnational witness, backed with prayer, makes a huge difference in the world, even when we don’t know what is happening.
• Don’t avoid reunion events. Go and work the floor like you are campaigning. Don’t be afraid of asking the question, “What has your spiritual journey been like?” (People want to tell you!)

Hungry Souls Advent Retreat 2010

Hungry Souls Advent Retreat will be on December 1-2, 2010. The cost for the days, including a private room with bath and three meals is $120. If you register by October 1st, the early registration fee is $100. If you bring a friend who has never attended, the fee will be $90 for your friend and for yourself. You can begin early registration by e-mailing Susan Hands at info@hungrysouls.org.

Open Heart, Open Home by Karen Mains

Can a simple dinner party for the neighbors change the world? Karen Mains says, "Yes!".

And in Open Heart, Open Home show shows how. In this classic on Christian hospitality, Karen Mains steps far beyond how-to-entertain hints to explore a biblical and spiritual approach to using your home to care for others. This approach to hospitality can literally transform the fabric of your community and your world.

Whether you are a business executive or a homemaker, a professional minister or a layperson, a seasoned entertainer or an entertaining klutz, you will find here the encouragement and skills you need to reach out with the gospel through daily acts of acceptance, belonging and love.

Scriptural Hospitality

by Karen Mains

I always laugh inside I encounter Christians who consider the theology of hospitality to be a “woman’s issue.” Rather, practicing hospitality is the expression of a radical life view that often pierces to the heart of justice issues and demands of its practitioners a stance of either civil disobedience or some kind of cultural radicalism.

This is so important. Let me repeat: Hospitality is the expression of a radical life-view that often pierces to the heart of justice issues and demands of its practitioners a stance either of civil disobedience or of some kind of cultural radicalism.

One pastor once told me he couldn’t think of four sermons that he could preach on hospitality! I was amazed. I could spend a whole year sermonizing about this topic.

Let me illustrate. Scriptural hospitality should be the basis of the church’s position on the knotty immigration issues that now face our nation. Instead, we are caught in debates that have nothing to do with Christian conversations but everything to do with personal opinions. For Christians, the dialogue should begin with, “What does the Scripture have to say about this issue?” This may be due to the fact that our premises are faulty—we assume the Bible has nothing to say about this contemporary issue (according to statistics, some 200 million people are on the move globally!) In fact, the truth is diametrically opposite—Scripture has everything to say about the immigration issue, and the sheer volume of passages alone should inform our thinking about how we treat the immigrants (legal and illegal) among us. Read more at Hungry Souls...

Flight Through Life

by Karen Mains

None of us know about the web of prayer that surrounds our lives. We have no way of measuring how many times prayer has protected us, preserved us or assuaged our distresses. We just complain about what goes wrong, howl over the suffering that, unwanted, comes our way; shake our fist in the face of God and cry, “Unfair! Unfair!” But we do not count the ways we have been kept safe, nor measure the days that have been shot through with happiness.

We have no idea how many times He has given His angels charge over us, lest we strike our foot against a stone.

“How was your flight?”

How is your flight through life, through the moments of the days? Begin to look for the gifts of prayer, see if you can detect that figurative flash of wings, the hidden sound of something beating beneath the surface of things. Concentrate, instead of what has gone wrong, on what has gone right. Read more on KarenMains.com...

Lonely No More by Karen Mains

Lonely No More is a book by renowned author Karen Mains. It is an honest and compassionate guide for anyone who struggles with loneliness and alienation, even in the midst of a busy and fulfilled life. It is a deeply personal exploration of what it means to be a woman, a Christian, a wife, a mother, a daughter, an artist and a leader. Fearlessly honest, bittersweet but life-affirming, full of wonder and wisdom, this moving memoir charts its course through the mysterious landscape of the human spirit.

Putting Brakes On My Pace

by Karen Mains

I needed to put a brake on my fast/faster pace. I began my summer journey into ramping down by re-reading the book by Carl Honoré, In Praise of Slowness: Challenging the Cult of Speed. Practicing self awareness, I began to count the many moments of breathlessness in my days. I evaluated those “vices” of punctuality, efficiency, and goal-setting. I discovered I was speeding even when I drove under the speed limit! “Why are you rushing?” I began to demand of myself. “You’re on time. There’s no need to hurry. In fact, it looks as though you’ll arrive early.” After several weeks of this watchfulness, I concluded that I was addicted; I was on an adrenalin high, stimulated by the fast pace of our techno-driven, impersonal society that creates an impatience if we have to wait in line at the store, at our computers, or at a traffic light. “Instant gratification,” quipped actress/author Carrie Fisher, “takes too long.”

Honoré writes, “Fast is busy, controlling, aggressive, hurried, analytical, stressed, superficial, impatient, active, quantity-over-quality. Slow is the opposite: calm, careful, receptive, still, intuitive, unhurried, patient, reflective, quality-over-quantity.” No doubt in my mind, I want to go back to there, back to what musicians call the tempo giusto—the right speed. I am a contemplative who has lost her way this summer in material activism. I need to get back to the Center and stop rushing through my days. I want to get back to what Richard Rohr in his book The Naked Now calls “the Gospel life,” to become that kind of person who has eyes to see and who sees. It means making the major calling of my life a calling of prayer. Read the full article on Hungry Souls...